boys boys boys

i am so so so done with this mixed signal crap. i'm tired of letting people walk all over me just because they pretend that they like me. This is stupid and i'm over it. Boys aren't worth my time, so forget that. i'm done. well for now at least.... :P

moving on from this

it's funny how my brain moved on faster than my heart did. I thought i was over you. I thought i was over this. But it turns out that all i can do i s think about you. All i can talk about is you. And when i close my eyes... all i see is you with her. I'm on the outside due to my own mistake. I don't regret what i did. It made me stronger. But i wish all of my dreams i had with you could become a reality. But it seems like what i wanted is creeping further and further away. Your words wounded me and left me alone with nothing but my tears. I forgive you even when you don't care to ask for my forgiveness. Even if your love wasn't real mine was. I don't know how to fix it. And i don't know how to change it. All i know is that you moved on and i can't let go.

armed and dangerous

I got my license today! My wonderful mother scheduled an appointment for this morning, and after jump start at herschel's with my church, i went to the DPS and got my license. It was super easy, and i didn't have to parallel park which was a relief. I think it was kinda a bitter sweet feeling for my parents though, because they were happy to see me so happy, but they were also extremely sad to see their little girl growing up and not needing them to drive them to school. 16 years ago today my mother was having me and now i can drive myself where i need to go. I know this is hard for them, but i am so happy that they trust me enough with this responsibility. I love my parents and i love my car!!

friends

it's a great day when you discover friends you never knew you had, but it is an even better day when you discover that you don't deserve your friends. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by people that love and care about me that it is incredible. I know that they love me and that they would protect me and stand up for me no matter what happens. I don't have to worry about being alone, my friends and family will always be there for me, to pick me up. Even when i don't deserve it. Thank you.

Rnagers

"'Father who art in TEXAS... Baseball be thy game. Thy will be
done. The AL Championship will be won. On the field, as well as in the
bullpen. Give us this day our bat and glove, and forgive us for our
errors, as we forgive those who homerun against us. Lead us not
into...defeat, but help us BEAT the Yankees. In the name of the f...ans,
Josh Hamilton and the Rangers... Amen. Go Rangers!'"

License

I only have 6 more days until i can get my license! i am so excited to be able to have the ability to take my self to and from places without having to depend on others for rides. Although i will only get to drive one person it will still be incredible to be able to go places with my friends and do things without depending on our parents. I am so happy that i beat the rule change. There is rumor that the new age you have to be to get your license is 17, but because i got my permit 6 months ago i beat the change and i get to get mine in exactly 6 days! 

Physical

So i just completed my first semester fitness gram. All i have to say about that is.... not fun. The worst part was knowing that after i did it i would have to go to soccer and work out some more. I hate running or working out during the day when it is hot and you have to go to class right after. After i work out, i like to just chill in front of the television or with a big tall glass of water. I hate running and then going to class knowing you smell terrible or sweating on your desk. I'm just miserable for the rest of the day and i'm in a terrible mood after i work out. I don't like to be touched and i don't want to be social. So here is a warning for all my friends, if i work out in the middle of the day and have to go to class afterwards, do not talk to or touch me... OR ELSE!

DONE.

Why can i not seem to pull myself away from you. Why is it taking so long for me to get over you. i'm tired of having this longing to be with you, when you have no desire to be with me too. I want to be done, i'm tired of feeling this way. i'm tired of letting you play with my hopes, i'm done with treasuring the moments i have with you. i say i'm done, but then you do stuff like this and leave me so confused. i just want to be done if you are too. Give me a sign you want me as much as i want you...

my journal about why i love the rain

I love the rain because it smells so fresh and the sound of it hitting the sidewalk is so soothing to me that I actually get goose bumps from it. I love the rain because I love to watch it dance down my window and feel it caress my skin. The rain is a cleanser, you can feel the whole earth taking it in as the ground is blanketed in a thin layer of water. The plants and animals drink it in, happy to see that it has finally come. The rain creates the color the clothes to earth. If I could I would dance on the sidewalk in the rain every day. The rain holds promises. The rain promises nourishment and nutrition, while a rainbow promises the prevention of a flood. The rain cools and soothes me while rinsing me of the heavy day.

I hate to say i told you so but...

My boys did it! They beat the Rays! Take that non-believers. Watch me as i shun you! Hopefully this will get them started, and it will be only the first of many wins in the pos season. I don't want to jinx them, so all i am going to say is... good job boys! Congratulations! Don't get cocky. Go out there and play baseball the way i know you can. Have fun and do good! (P.S. In your face zach!)

playoffs

My boys, the american league west champions, are playing in the playoffs! Now, yes they are playing tampa bay, and yes i am a little scared of this fact. But my boys have heart and if  the rangers put their mind to it i guarantee they will go in and squash every ray that has the guts to step onto the field. I don't care how many times you tell me they will be destroyed (cough cough zach) the rangers will go out there and they will play their heart out whether the odds are in their favor or against them. Theis season is not done, and odds do not effect the outcome. BANG enough said.

driving

I love how i have been driving for 6 months, and yet i drive better than over half the people on the road. If you don't know the rules of the road, you shouldn't be driving. It is ridiculous that a teenage driver would have to swerve to avoid a head on collision because some idiot went the wrong way down a one way street. Just because you have your liscense does not mean that you can start to ignore the laws and road signs. Everyone makes jokes about bumper stickers that say "teenage driver alert". well i have a new bumper sticker, "idiot driver who cant drive. BEWARE BEWARE BEWARE". The bottowm line is, learn to drive or get off the road. Just because you have a liscense to drive doesn't mean you CAN drive.

my mommy

me and my mom are best friends. we just had a race to see who could pee the fastest. i won and went into her room to do a victory dance in the middle of the victory dance she splashed me with a handful of water. this of course stated a water battle. she won that though :(. i love having someone in my life that i can depend on 100%of the time, and she is that person. i always know that i can come to her and she will be there for me always. i love my mother for a million and twenty seven reasons, but the biggest reason i love her is because of her love for me and her desire to have a relationship with me outside of the normal mother and daughter tradition.

School

Ok,  completely understand how in the future sometime i am going to need to know how to add, read, or write, but for real when will i EVER need to know about chemistry. Chemitry is completely useless to me. I find myself searching for a time that i will need to know the number of significant figures in the sum of the average atomic masses of two seperate elements... NO! i will never ever ever have any use for most of the material i have to learn in my chemistry class. i understand and appreciate school and its purpose, i just wish that they would teach us or reteach us things that actually matter, things that we will actually need in every day life. When some one is planning in going into a profession involving dance there is no need for them to waste an entire year learning about chemistry or calculus. The school subjects we study should go hand in hand with the profession we hope to go into. What we study in school should help lead us in our intrest so we don't end up going to college and changing our majors again and again. I hope to go into a profession in which there is no need for chemistry, so why am i wasting my time with it?